Consume the Chaos

Lama Rod, one of my spiritual teachers, before leaving the comforts of a 4-day silent mountain retreat, offered this benediction, which was more of a call to action:

“You all are going out into a chaotic world. And the temptation is to be thrown off your center. The question remains: How do you go into the chaos and consume it, rather than have it consume you?”

I’ve been contemplating that question for over a year now. At a subsequent retreat, Lama Rod invited me to remain even more deeply rooted in my center and asked me to stay in my luminosity and brilliance to be a beacon for all who rely on me. He went further and said that as we go into the chaos, being clear-minded, the chaos has to organize itself around us.

Here we are.

Societal delusion, fear, cruelty, and apathy appear to have taken over every bit of our earth. Personally, my life has had the most enormous upheaval I have ever known, uncertainty bounds on all fronts. I’ve had some incredibly dark moments over the past several weeks. To say I’ve been humbled is an understatement. There have been times when I did not know where to turn, yet I pride myself on being clear.  

COVID-19 and that socio-political unrest was a dress rehearsal for the kind of performance the current moment asks for. Although this game's rules differ, our strategies remain essentially the same: focus on love by caring for one another and our own hurt parts and allowing our creativity to generate paths of clarity.  The most significant benefit of COVID-19 and related social turbulences was that it unleashed hidden gifts. Many didn’t know they could even bake bread before that virus descended! I certainly did not realize that people would one day look at my posts on social media or that a practice I developed for myself would support others in learning to love themselves more. All because the moment asked for those aspects of me to come to the forefront. Somehow, I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself.  

This moment could also be generous to us. We must remain open to whatever gifts and strengths are revealed for this to happen. Pivoting to this current moment and doing whatever it may ask of us—both as individuals and as a greater collective—is our way out. Remaining in disbelief or reactivity will cloud our ability to listen and discern the paths to take. We have a long road to travel and a weighty effort to sustain ourselves in moving through this chaos and then landing in positions to create conditions that ultimately benefit all.

I'm relying on the basics to do my best to stay in my center. For me, tried-and-true practices include prayer, meditation, artistic expression, breathing, connecting with loved ones, communing with nature, and writing. These are all things I often avoid, even though they generally bring me to peace. But now, I have no other choice, for my soul’s survival is predicated on me doing them. So, I shall do them all as I await, whatever gifts and strengths awaken to allow me to play my role in this moment.  In self-preservation, I declare, I do not wish for someone else’s chaos to take over my mind and heart. Instead, I hope to offer them my clarity of mind and liberatory love.

We are the clarity we seek, and may we bring that energy into the chaos and transform it.  

photo by: Peter Herrmann